Don't Call THAT Man (and we all have a THAT Man or WOman)

Don't call THAT Man!!!

Why do we allow ourselves to think that we want to be with THAT man on HIS terms? We can not bear the thought of our life without him yet, what was life with him? Because we FEEL ALL ALONE AND DESPERATE, and we should know better....isn't that easy to say....LOL

Reality is that most of us women become OCD with the need to just speak to him and we call, get the answering machine and never leave a message, and forget about caller ID, we just hang up and dial again hoping he is home....and we do this in 15 minute intervals, knowing we are OUT OF CONTROL!!! Acting like a junkie writhing for a pain fix.The fear of losing control, the yearning to hear his voice again. What is it that makes us feel our emotional stability is to shaken that we will go to any lengths to get him to come back? Why can't we just let go? (I do know the answer to these questions, just for the record)

However, without being too personal this wanting to compulsively call THAT man, cling to him , knowing the relationship is over is in a sense how we mask or anesthetize our feelings of aloneness, hurt, and pain.It is no lie that we get this rush of adrenaline when we simply hear his voice but, really this rush is just a temporary fix and we will eventually have to FEEL the pain of his absence in order to obtain any kind of emotional freedom.Even with this insight, the urge to cling can be irresistible. You know with your rational mind that your behavior isn't appropriate, but you are driven by a compulsion you feel you can't control. You feel actual discomfort when you don't carry out the compulsive act.

Feelings are just temporary.

That's the trick – to feel your feelings, and to not act them out. The whole point of resisting the urge to call a man you have broken up with and share your feelings with him is to avoid the risk of getting rejected, hurt, and humiliated. Every time you get rejected you reinforce any feelings of unlovability or desperation you might be struggling with. And even if he does respond to your call positively, you may feel momentarily comforted and closer to him, but soon the anguish will return, because you're still not together and then – you'll have to work through your feelings of loss again, doubling your amount of work.

Going through the pain without him may seem like passing through a crucible of fire, but if you Don't Call That Man, you'll feel triumphant and confident of your own inner resources.