My reply to Online Dating...
I rescently read a blog regarding online dating and wanted to give a little insight of my own to aid in your observations of this exploding market...which can suck from time to time but, have you ever been on a blind date? or how about the date that your moms best friend set up for you? or the date that your best friends husbands boss set up for you? OK, you get the point...no one outlet of dating sucks anymore than the next...However, when it comes to dating singles have so many options , there's the traditional setting, the matchmaking setting, and the online setting not to mention free internet dating.
The web is always introducing dating services that singles can join without the worry of giving away their cash. There are plenty of sites that cater to all types of singles, naughty singles, those that target based on interests or lifestyle, and those whose basis is personality traits that you can search for. So, no wonder the online dating is booming.
You could say traditional dating is becoming a thing of the past. Of course there are the 'old-school' singles out there that stand by their guns when it comes to meeting the opposite sex by going on the horribly awkward first dates. You know the ones, maybe you're one of them, going to a restaurant and meeting someone for the first time not having a clue what this person might look like or even act like. Meeting in a crowded bar hiding and watching the door wondering, "is that him/her" everytime someone passes through. Sadly enough this breed of daters...is few and far between.Come on, it doesn't take a scientist to figure out that online is where people go to meet someone new nowadays. Rather than taking a co-worker's word, singles can search exactly what they are looking for in someone right down to the hair color, a long list of personality traits, physical attributes, wealth, and more.
I think of this like the movie "Weird Science" just program what you want your partner to look and act like and Poof! There he or she will be! Believe me, I have made the mistake in going out with someone a friend told me about. One word can describe that experience. Misery.Online dating for women gives the ability to sift through those 200 + interests that yes, were copied and pasted and sent to god knows how many however, every woman who seeks a potential match online knows that men do not have the ability to do anything else while in persuit. (that breed is also near extinction) However, maybe one of those women he has copied and pasted has a connection and that is what online dating boils down to.
People need people. People want people. People desire people. And as the internet sites may not be the best place to find people who are genuine in character and honest and intelligent etc. There is always the possibility and that is why we do what we do. I can not answer for someone else yet, I can say that I am hopeful, trusting and do not believe that all women are out to destroy all the men of the world. Wouldn't it be great if that were true vice versa.
Life is not about how many times you get laid or how many chicks you hook up with in one night or even how many women you juggle at the same time. and...women it is the same for you too...there is much more to it than that and when you get tired or have some life altering disease remember you heard it here first.....
Love and be Loved....Read 1 Corinthians 13 if you need a reminder...it is good for all of us.
Online dating is ever so popular because it's free, painless, and quick in finding someone compatible to whatever NEED you seek to fulfill....
Monday, July 13, 2009
Don't Call THAT Man (and we all have a THAT Man or WOman)
Don't call THAT Man!!!
Why do we allow ourselves to think that we want to be with THAT man on HIS terms? We can not bear the thought of our life without him yet, what was life with him? Because we FEEL ALL ALONE AND DESPERATE, and we should know better....isn't that easy to say....LOL
Reality is that most of us women become OCD with the need to just speak to him and we call, get the answering machine and never leave a message, and forget about caller ID, we just hang up and dial again hoping he is home....and we do this in 15 minute intervals, knowing we are OUT OF CONTROL!!! Acting like a junkie writhing for a pain fix.The fear of losing control, the yearning to hear his voice again. What is it that makes us feel our emotional stability is to shaken that we will go to any lengths to get him to come back? Why can't we just let go? (I do know the answer to these questions, just for the record)
However, without being too personal this wanting to compulsively call THAT man, cling to him , knowing the relationship is over is in a sense how we mask or anesthetize our feelings of aloneness, hurt, and pain.It is no lie that we get this rush of adrenaline when we simply hear his voice but, really this rush is just a temporary fix and we will eventually have to FEEL the pain of his absence in order to obtain any kind of emotional freedom.Even with this insight, the urge to cling can be irresistible. You know with your rational mind that your behavior isn't appropriate, but you are driven by a compulsion you feel you can't control. You feel actual discomfort when you don't carry out the compulsive act.
Feelings are just temporary.
That's the trick – to feel your feelings, and to not act them out. The whole point of resisting the urge to call a man you have broken up with and share your feelings with him is to avoid the risk of getting rejected, hurt, and humiliated. Every time you get rejected you reinforce any feelings of unlovability or desperation you might be struggling with. And even if he does respond to your call positively, you may feel momentarily comforted and closer to him, but soon the anguish will return, because you're still not together and then – you'll have to work through your feelings of loss again, doubling your amount of work.
Going through the pain without him may seem like passing through a crucible of fire, but if you Don't Call That Man, you'll feel triumphant and confident of your own inner resources.
Why do we allow ourselves to think that we want to be with THAT man on HIS terms? We can not bear the thought of our life without him yet, what was life with him? Because we FEEL ALL ALONE AND DESPERATE, and we should know better....isn't that easy to say....LOL
Reality is that most of us women become OCD with the need to just speak to him and we call, get the answering machine and never leave a message, and forget about caller ID, we just hang up and dial again hoping he is home....and we do this in 15 minute intervals, knowing we are OUT OF CONTROL!!! Acting like a junkie writhing for a pain fix.The fear of losing control, the yearning to hear his voice again. What is it that makes us feel our emotional stability is to shaken that we will go to any lengths to get him to come back? Why can't we just let go? (I do know the answer to these questions, just for the record)
However, without being too personal this wanting to compulsively call THAT man, cling to him , knowing the relationship is over is in a sense how we mask or anesthetize our feelings of aloneness, hurt, and pain.It is no lie that we get this rush of adrenaline when we simply hear his voice but, really this rush is just a temporary fix and we will eventually have to FEEL the pain of his absence in order to obtain any kind of emotional freedom.Even with this insight, the urge to cling can be irresistible. You know with your rational mind that your behavior isn't appropriate, but you are driven by a compulsion you feel you can't control. You feel actual discomfort when you don't carry out the compulsive act.
Feelings are just temporary.
That's the trick – to feel your feelings, and to not act them out. The whole point of resisting the urge to call a man you have broken up with and share your feelings with him is to avoid the risk of getting rejected, hurt, and humiliated. Every time you get rejected you reinforce any feelings of unlovability or desperation you might be struggling with. And even if he does respond to your call positively, you may feel momentarily comforted and closer to him, but soon the anguish will return, because you're still not together and then – you'll have to work through your feelings of loss again, doubling your amount of work.
Going through the pain without him may seem like passing through a crucible of fire, but if you Don't Call That Man, you'll feel triumphant and confident of your own inner resources.
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